Characters: Daniel Jackson, Jack O’Neill
ESRB Rating: Mature: Mature Themes, Language
Spoilers: Season 8, pre-but-related-to Prometheus Unbound
Themes: Semi-established Jack/Daniel, Semi-eluded Sam/Jack, Angst, UST
Theme Song: ‘Who Left the Lights Off, Baby’ by the Guillemots (( Song and Lyrics ))

Prompt: posted by Fairyglass

This week, think of those songs and let them inspire you to put all that into words. It’s like a fan mix tape of one, for one.

Written: April 11th, 2006

Oh love, get out of my hair.
You’ll never get to heaven if you stay in my bed.
And I don’t think twice, I’ll lose control,
Don’t think twice, you’ll never ever fold.

They fought in the halls. They fought in the commissary. They fought in the elevators between the halls and the commissary. They fought anywhere and everywhere. There was absolutely no one left in the SGC who didn’t know Dr. Daniel Jackson wanted to join the Prometheus in its expedition to the Pegasus Galaxy and the city of Atlantis. Just as there was no one left in the SGC who didn’t know General O’Neill wasn’t having any of it. It’d been going on now for weeks.

“Daniel!”

“Jack, damnit, I don’t see how you can keep being so—”

“General here, Daniel! Guy in charge? Pretend you have a little respect for the uniform, okay? At least in front of the children.” He swung his hand in the direction of a posted guard who was not watching them pass in an exceedingly pointed fashion.

“The uniform? You’re being an ass! Who cares what you’re wearing while you’re doing it?”

The beating heart is over their own—
Hello, hello, hello I think you’re out on your own.
Well it may seem funny but it don’t strike honey for me.

Daniel was hounding Jack. If Jack had his way, he’d lock himself in his office and just hide it out, but those weren’t options any more now that he was The Man. Daniel had ample opportunity to nip at his heels all - day - long. It’d worked in the past, so Daniel figured it was only a matter of time before he got his way. But Jack was being uniquely stubborn on this point and Daniel had to admit, it had him stumped.

“I don’t get it, Sam.” Arching over the back of his chair to stretch tired muscles, Daniel sighed down the line towards Area 51. “How would this be any more or less dangerous then anything else we’ve ever done?”

Sam’s voice had the familiar lilt of her smile. “Daniel, no offense but, our track record aboard the Prometheus isn’t exactly… the best.” Not that this explained anything. “And if you can avoid known trouble…”

Again she was teasing him but Sam, more then anyone else, was keenly aware just how important it was for Daniel to reach Atlantis. She’d been given her own slice of heaven, hadn’t she? You couldn’t walk four feet without bumping into some fantastic doohickey here in Area 51. Why couldn’t Daniel have that too?

“Give him time,” she advised. “You’re pushing too hard, too fast, and the Prometheus isn’t scheduled to leave for another five weeks.” A thoughtful silence fell between them and Sam spun it out as long as she could to give her next words as much weight as they needed. “Daniel, for as adaptable as General O’Neill is, he doesn’t really like change. And things are… well.”

General Hammond had retired, Carter had been promoted and then transferred to Area 51. Teal’c was on Dakara, organizing the Free Jaffa Nation and now Daniel wanted to ship out to Atlantis. All while Jack stayed right where he was. Without them.

Dragging his glasses off his face, Daniel signed again into the phone. “Yeah. Yeah, I know.” But damnit it all anyway.

Agree me my way, agree me back home,
I can love you baby till the cows came home.
What’s that noise, oh yeah it’s the cows knocking on our door!

Oh, oh no, you’re coming around to my place!
Oh no, and I’m getting tired of your face.
Who left the lights off, baby? Who left the lights off, baby?

Yeah, oh no! The cows are all turned on their heads.
Oh no, the cows are all lying in our bed.
And I’m not listening to what you’re trying to say to me.

The door swung open in a whoosh that pulled at Daniel’s clothes. “Hi.”

Jack peered out at him as if he might be mildly retarded. “It’s Sunday. In fact, it’s quarter to seven on Sunday.”

“Yeah, I know. I thought we might… talk.”

Giving him a slow, blinking appraisal, Jack jabbed a finger in his sleepy eye to rub desperately. “No, Daniel. We’re not doing this again, here, now.”

“But Jack—!” Already the hands, with their long fingers, were dashing about in their own language and Jack was in no state to keep up with all that was Daniel Jackson. Not at six forty-five in the morning. On a Sunday. When Jack was still in his sleep sweats and Daniel looked more bright eyed and bushy tailed then Jack thought he had any right to look. This was an ambush, pure and simple.

He closed the door. Then locked the door. Then thought about pulling the couch in front of the door. Damn it all, Daniel was going to be the death of him! And it was just too early to die.

On the other side, Daniel ground his teeth and considered kicking the door down. By nature he wasn’t a violent man, but Jack O’Neill brought out the exceptional in him.

Oh dog, get out of my way,
I’ll never get to heaven if you’re always at bay.
And I don’t want more, I don’t want less.
Happiness was never really our success.

Jack had had a very long Sunday. One in which he’d done a lot of very deep, very personal thinking - not exactly two things he tried to do often. And the whole day had started way too early for his tastes, so he’d been at it all for a while. How often did he get to sleep in? That’d be never. But now that it was a more reasonable hour…

The hour had to be the only thing reasonable about all this. He stood in front of Daniel’s front door just as the sun began to set and told himself all over again how this wasn’t just insane but… really insane.

You gave me away, I gave you a smile:
One was alligator, one was crocodile.
I guess it’s just somebody’s way of saying
We’re not meant to be.

Quit looking at me!

This was a road he and Daniel had already been down and they’d decided — mutually — that they… well. That they couldn’t go down this road. What they did, that whole saving the world thing, was far more important then personal… roads. It had been the same with Carter, much to Jack’s personal embarrassment and private delight. Jack had never known just how much a child of the 60s he was until faced with such “decisions”. But work came first. For all of them. They were in unique positions to actually do some good and not a one of them wanted to give that up.

He knew Daniel was home. Not just by the car parked in its space, but because Jack had been standing here for just under an hour and he could hear Daniel moving around inside.

Pulling his shoulders back, and with the grim determination of a born solider, Jack knocked crisply.

“Well it’s about time,” Daniel announced, opening the door and then leaning against the sill. He quirked a pursed mouth, eyebrow jogged expression at Jack. Well, so much for the upper hand.

Oh no, stop spinning around in my head.
Oh no, I love my - love is dead.
Who left the lights off, baby? Who left the lights off, baby?

Yeah, oh no, my heart is just turned on its head!
Oh no, I’m this close to burning the bed!
And I’m not really getting what you’re trying to say to me.

“Because.”

“Because is not an answer.”

They stood in Daniel’s living room, Jack with his hands in his pockets and Daniel with his arms tucked around himself. It was a posture and position Jack was used to seeing Daniel take but some how, somewhere in all the years, it’d stopped being a defensive stance, something vulnerable, and had turned into a formidable force to be reckoned with. Daniel was Being Serious and his bold attempt to hold and keep Jack’s eye contact made Jack look out the windows.

“Because… Daniel… because, I.” Because Jack had never stopped loving Daniel, had never stopped wondering ‘what if’. Never stopped thinking they could have actually made it work. If they’d tried. Because what if he never came back from Atlantis, found it more fascinating then anything they could offer him here. More then Jack could offer him. Or what if the Wraith… and Jack wouldn’t be there to… “Because.”

Carter just wanted to go to Nevada. He could keep tabs on Nevada. But Daniel — Daniel! — he just had to one up her. He had to want to go to another galaxy. Jack thought to venture a look in the doctor’s direction but decided against it abruptly, instead staring past Daniel and into the hallway. Yep. Because. Hallway.

“Jack.”

Yep. Hallway.

“Jack!” More urgent now. Hallway.

“Damn you, Jack O’Neill. Are you trying to tell me…”

Yep.

Oh no, the cows have come home for their tea!
Oh no, I’m thinking I want to be free.

“Now. You’re coming to me with… this… now.” Daniel pinned the side of Jack’s neck with a stare. A glare. It had to be his neck because Jack wouldn’t turn to look at him.

“I’m not doing anything but standing here. You’re the one jumping to conclusions.”

“Well! With such insightful rhetoric as ‘Because’—”

“Damnit, Daniel!” He threw his head back and snarled at the celling.

“Jack, just shut up! Just… just…. God.” Sailing his hand between them, Daniel made a halting motion. A placating motion. Stop. I’m sorry. This isn’t the way to handle things.

Jack glanced down, held his breath, scuffed his toe against the hard wood floors and basically for all the world looked like a love struck teenager deep in the fits of unrequited declaration.

“Jack.” Tilting his head, Daniel’s expression was pained. Now. Jack was coming to him now, with this, almost four years since… last time. Just when he thought they were over everything, were moving on. Did Daniel even want this still? Atlantis! Why did it have to be such a one or the other decision with Jack?

Yeah, oh no, stop clouding our tears in my head!
Oh no, I’m thinking I want you out.
And I’m not hearing what you’re trying to get through to me
To me
To me
To me
To me!

“Look,” Jack’s intonation soft and rich with unexpressed emotion, a burr of sound coming up from somewhere long out of practice. “I should probably go. Give you some… space.” Like maybe a corner in the Pegasus Galaxy.

“Jack.” Look at me, it said. Only a linguist could say a single word so many different ways. With obvious reluctance Jack drew his eyes up from the floor and turned to finally face Daniel.

It was there, all of it, still laid bare between them. When Daniel had descended - the first time - and everything had been so raw between them… but they’d decided Anubis’ threat had to take priority, that their own wants and needs couldn’t weigh more then the fate of entire planets. And then things had just… kept going. Like that.

“Daniel, I—”

“No, Jack, I understand. It’s alright.”

“No,” Jack glared. “It isn’t.”

“No,” Daniel readily agreed. “It isn’t.”

Jack shuffled his hands in his pockets. “So… now what?”

But do you love me?
Uhm…

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